8 Basic Rules for Using a Urinal

Avoid a major faux pas and follow these 8 simple rules for using the urinals in a men's restroom.

1. Never, ever turn your head

Look forward, eyes straight. Ideally there will be a newspaper or TV placed above the urinals to keep eyes from wandering. If somebody taps you on the back, don't fall for it.

2. Always leave a gap when possible

Never, ever stand next to a man at a urinal if you don't have to.

3. Don't touch the bathroom wall

Yes, I know, some people like to take one hand and slap it on the bathroom wall while taking a piss. It's not cool, and it's not "urinal acceptable."

4. Only talk to people you know at a urinal

There is no point in making useless conversation with a random dude at the urinal. Exception: if you're drunk.

5. If a situation looks too much to handle, it's OK to abort

Pretend you came into the bathroom to wash your hands or blow your nose. Anything, just get out!

6. Don't use the midget urinal unless rule number 2 applies

There's nothing wrong with the midget urinal, it just implies something.

7. Angle

Choose the urinal near the wall and angle towards it. You'll thank me for this later.

8. Use extreme caution when standing next to a man in a pair of urinals

Really, I think the only thing worse than being in the middle of a 3 urinal set is being part of a urinal pair. No explanation needed.


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