There's Something About Mary Movie Quotes


Stepfather: How'd you get the beans above the frank?


Stepfather: Boy, don't make me open up a can of whoopass!


Pat Healy: Husband; negative. Children and a Labrador; negative. Tight little package; affirmative.


Ted: He never even looked her up down there! He was down there closing his deal with the Rice-a-Roni people the whole time!


Magda: The last time I had a pap smear, the guy needed leather gloves and an oyster shucker.


Mary: Who needs him? I've got a vibrator!


Ted: I think I still want to look her up.
Healy: Who, rollerpig? Are you nuts?
Ted: You said she was a real sparkplug.
Healy: No, I said buttplug.


Warren: Have you seen my baseball?


Paramedic: We got a bleeder!


Healy: What the hell is Brett Favre doing here?
Brett Favre: I'm in town to play the Dolphins, you dumb ass.


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