The Cable Guy Movie Quotes

Chip Douglas: Oh, Billy!

Chip Douglas: Someone has to kill the baby sitter!

Chip Douglas: I learned the facts of life, by watching the facts of life.

Chip Douglas: I'm the bastard son of Claire Huxtable!

Chip Douglas: Hard to believe they got the floors cleaned in here after what happened...they had alot of cats.

Chip Douglas: I can be your best friend or your worst enemy. You seem to prefer the latter.

Chip Douglas: I forgive you. I only hope my neurologist will feel the same.

Chip Douglas: You better buckle up. I've had a lot to drink, just kidding. That's my humor!

Chip Douglas: Hey, Rick! I never made a slam dunk before. Thanks for the boost.

Steven: You're right. That's incredibly insightful.
Chip Douglas: I know. It was Jerry Springer's final thought on Friday's show.

Chip Douglas: Hey Steve I'm on a pay phone, so if you're there pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, well OK, call me back.

Chip Douglas: Free cable is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

Chip Douglas: Wake up lil snoozy! Smell the smelling salts!

Chip Douglas: I got you the big screen TV, deluxe karaoke machine, and THX quality sound that would make George Lucas cream in his pants!

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