Quotes from the TV Show Seinfeld

George: It's not a lie, if you believe it.

Kramer: I'm out there Jerry, and I'm lovin' it!

Jerry: See, the thing of it is, there's a lot of ugly people out there walking around but they don't know they're ugly because nobody actually tells them.

George: I can't carry a pen, I'm afraid it'll puncture my scrotum.

Jerry: We're not gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

(After George decides to do everything the opposite)
George: My name is George. I am unemployed and I live with my parents.
Hot Chick: I'm Victoria, hi!

Jerry: Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge.

(After experiencing shrinkage)

George: I was in the pool! I was in the pool!

Multiple cast members: Gotta love the Drake!

Jerry: My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty, and that's the law.

Kramer: Well, more bad news Jerry. You know the police they found another victim of the Loper in Riverside Park. I saw the photo and it looked a lot like you.
Jerry: Oh, come on, there's a lot of people walking around the city that look like me.
Kramer: Not as many as there used to be.

Elaine: Get out!

Soup Nazi: No soup for you! Come back, one year!

Newman: Hello, Jerry.
Jerry: Hello... Newman.

Jerry: But I don't wanna be a pirate!

George: You can stuff your sorries in a sack.

Jerry: And you figured, what the hell, I'll eat some trash.

Jerry: And you want to be my latex salesman. I don't think so!


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