Scrubs Quotes


J.D.: It's the scrubs, because in jeans, my butt is a force to be reckoned with!


Dr. Cox: What in the name of Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret were you thinking?


J.D.: You want some salsa for that chip on your shoulder?


J.D.: Ah, uncomfortable silences and alcohol. Just like Thanksgiving at home.


Alex: Does this big metal contraption make me look fat?
J.D.: More chunky than fat.


J.D.: He died?
Kelso: God I hope so, or that autopsy is going to be a bitch.


Dr. Cox: I'm gonna go ahead and write you a prescription for two testicles; and you feel free to get this filled out whenever you want


J.D.: Laverne, what would you give me if I got this jellybean in your cleavage?
Laverne: A concussion.


J.D.: God, I wish we could go back in time and see that game.
Danni: Wanting what you can't have!
J.D.: Why are you here? Hospitals don't sell cigarettes!


The Todd: My friend, I am about to make you look very silly.


J.D.: That's not a unicorn, it's a horse with a sword on his head and he guards my hopes and dreams.


Elliot: Yeah, I'm not that great with kids. They've got such tiny hands. It's creepy.


Dr. Cox: Jordan, your only skill is illegal in 26 states.
Jordan: It's 27. Arkansas buckled.


J.D.: Jason, when you're filling out a female patient's exam report, her breasts can be Healthy or Unhealthy, but never 'bangin double-Ds'.


Dr. Cox: You kids use the word HATE so much that I have to find a new word to describe how I feel about others. Hmmmm, I mega-loathe you all.


Janitor: I converted to the Norse religion a while back. It just makes sense.


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