Reno 911 Quotes


Lt. Dangle: I think I'm just flat out drunk.


Deputy Garcia: Criminals are the vomit of society and we are the sawdust.


Deputy James Garcia: God vomited and there was Jackie.


Deputy Jones: Sir, I will not hesistate to beat your ass with your own shoe!


Deputy Raineesha Williams: White people are crazy.


Lt. Dangle: I don't mean any disrespect, but fuck firemen!


Lt. Dangle: Do not call me Mr.Chickenhole under any circumstances!


Terry: Have you ever had skittles? They're like pure sugar!


Deputy Clementine Johnson: I don't know why everyone around here gets a boner every time the FBI comes in. All they do is wear suits and handle the fluids of dead people. That's not sexy to me.


Deputy Clementine Johnson: Garcia has a daughter? I had no idea. I had no idea. I would imagine, she must have a humpback or something?


Deputy Wiegel: If I'm addicted to anything, it's sparklers.


Deputy Jones: First OJ, then Kobe, now Jonesy! I didn't do anything!


Deputy Wiegel: As far as joining the FBI is concerned, let me put it this way; I failed a test to get in a book club.


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