Mallrats Movie Quotes

Brodie Bruce: You fuckers think just because a guy reads comics he can't start some shit?

Brodie Bruce: Say, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel? They're a little melty, but damn, are they exquisite.

Brodie Bruce: Yeah, and she also said I had no dick. Which precedes the financial question, proving once more what women really look for.

Brodie Bruce: You want me to rub it?

Brodie Bruce: Most of the time I'm just talking out of my ass, or sticking my hand in it.

Brodie Bruce: I love the smell of commerce in the morning.

Brodie Bruce: Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn for Sega.

Brodie Bruce: Hasn't it become abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit?

Brodie Bruce: I would've made a sexy chick.

TS Quint: How is it that I go from the verge of hot Floridian sex with Brandi to Man of Steel coital debates with you in the food court?

TS Quint: Maybe he's calmed down, we'll talk about it reasonably.
Brodie: Reasonably shmeasonably, you should go over there and give him shit.

Bob Summers: Our first suitor goes to Marymount College where he majors in economics. Say hi to Doug Paging!
Jay: Do it Doug!

Jay: Silent Bob stole the schematics from some foolish carpenter and found a weakness just like the fucking Death Star. You knock this crossbeam out and, fucking bickettybam, the whole stage comes crashing down.
Brodie Bruce: Well we were thinking of something simple, but hey, if you want to destroy the stage, we're all for that.

Jay: Silent Bob here's an electrical genius. He won the science fair in eighth grade by turning his mom's vibrator into a CD player using some chicken wire and shit. The mother fucker's like MacGyver. No, the mother fucker's better than MacGyver.

Jay: Dude, you the mad chick magnet.

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