Liar Liar Movie Quotes


Fletcher: I can't lie!


Fletcher: Stop breaking the law, asshole!


Fletcher: Audrey, good news, both my legs are broken so they can't take me straight to jail.


Fletcher: The pen is blue! The pen is blue!


Fletcher: What is wrong with me? I'm getting what I deserve. I'm reaping what I sow.


Fletcher: I'm so glad my gift could bring them closer together. My plan to completely phase myself out is almost complete!


Max: I wish for just one day, dad couldn't tell a lie.


Max: Is wrestling real?
Fletcher: In the Olympics, yes. On channel 23, no.


Secretary: Do you like my new dress?
Fletcher: What ever takes the focus off your head!


Audrey: Well, what were you doing?
Fletcher: Having sex!
Audrey: Well, I hope it was with someone very special!
Fletcher: No, see that's the thing, I don't even like her, but she's a partner and I thought I could get ahead by making her squeal.


Fletcher: I was hoping after being married to me you'd have no more strength left.
Audrey: Well, you have to remember that when we were married, I wasn't having sex nearly as often as you were.


Man in Bathroom: What the hell are you doing?
Fletcher: I'm kicking my own ass!


Guy in office: Hey, Fletcher, how's it hanging?
Fletcher: Short, shriveled, and always to the left.


More Random Chimp Stuff:

The Office Quotes

The Asian Geography Quiz - Test your knowledge of Asian Geography

Grumpy Chimp - List of Funny City Names

Will Smith Celebrity Facts

Any Given Sunday Quotes