Knocked Up Movie Quotes

Ben Stone: Steely Dan can gargle my balls.

Ben Stone: I will fuck my bong. Doggie-style, for once.

Ben Stone: Now that's how you get pink eye.

Ben Stone: Yeah, it's a cure-all. My buddy Jonah broke his elbow one time. He just smoked some weed. It still clicks, but it's cool.

Jonah: I'm going to murderball you!

Jonah: Don't masturbate with a noose. If you do, use a spotter or a teammate.

Jonah: Cya, Scorcese on coke.

Martin: Fuck me in the beard.

Martin: Do you ever get so bored, you just stare at your balls?
Jonah: I bet you do, late John Lennon.

Sadie: I googled murder.

Alison Scott: I was drunk!
Ben Stone: Was your vagina drunk?

Pete: I'm gonna throw you in my DeLorean and gun it to 88.

Pete: There are five different types of chairs in this hotel room.
Ben Stone: That's way too many chairs for one room!

Pete: You look like Babe Ruth's gay brother... Gaybe Ruth.

Jill: Oh, no, we're not asking you to lose weight. That would be illegal. We just want you to be healthy, by eating less. So go home, weigh yourself on a scale, write than down. Then subtract 20 from that number. And weigh that. Yeah.

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