Quotes from the Movie Idiocracy
Collins: You see, a pimp's love is very different from that of a square.
Joe: Are we on base?
Carl's Jr Machine: Carl's Jr. Fuck you, I'm eating. Welcome to Carl's Jr. Would you like to try our extra big-ass taco?
Nurse: Uh... This goes in your mouth. This one goes in your ear. And this one goes in your butt. (Joe puts wires in, machine beeps) Shit. Hang on a second. This one... Uh... This one... this one goes in your mouth.
Doctor: It says on your chart that you're fucked up. Uh... You talk like a fag, and your shit's all retarded.
Guard: Okay, sir. Now we will begin to proceed to obtain your IQ and aptitude test.
Frito: What's the minus of thirty and twenty?
Joe: Man, I could really go for a Starbucks, you know.
Costco greeter: Welcome to Costco. I love you.
Joe: I'm the smartest guy in the world? Says who?
President Comacho: So you smart, eh?
President Comacho: I got a three point plan to fix everything. Number one: we got this guy Not Sure. Number two: he's got a higher IQ than any man alive. And number three: he's going to fix everything.
Joe: Tell me how to get to the time machine.
Joe: I'm pretty sure what's killing the crops is this Brawndo stuff.
Fox Newscaster: He tried taking water from toilets, but it is Secretary Not Sure who finds himself in the toilet now. And as history pulls down its pants and prepares to lower ITS ASS on Not Sure's head, it will be daddy justice crapping on him this time.
Formica: Thank you, Velveeta. Well, it started off boring and slow, with Not Sure trying to bullshit everyone with a bunch of smart talk. Blaah, blaah, blaah, you got to believe me. That part of the trial sucked.
Frito: Wait. This reminds me of something. (Tries to read the word "rehabilitation").
Joe: Today, I step into the shoes of a great man. A man by the name of Dwayne Alezando Mountain Dew Herbert Comacho.