Quotes from the TV Show Friends

Ross: No, No, No, No, homo erectus was never fully erect.
Chandler: Maybe he was nervous.

Joey: I wasn't trying to save Ross. I was trying to save my sandwich.

Phoebe: Oh, my God! This is like 60 Minutes, when at first you're really mad at that pharmaceutical company for making the drug and then, you know, you just feel bad for the people because they needed to make their hair grow.

Chandler: Well, if I were a guy...
(Everyone stares at him)
Chandler: Wait, did I just say If I were a guy?

(After seeing Ross' spray tan mishap.)
Chandler: Oh, my God, you can do a duet of Ebony and Ivory all by yourself.

Monica: Ross, why are you all hot and sweaty?
Ross: I just bamboozled Chandler!
(Monica looks confused.)
Ross: Which isn't a sexual thing...

(Joey doesn't get the nickname of Chandler and Ross's friend Mike Gandalf Ganderson.)
Ross: Hello? Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school?
Joey: No, I had sex in high school.

Phoebe: Yeah, I talked to my grandma about the Old Yeller incident, and she told me that my mom used to not show us the ends of sad movies, to shield us from the pain and sadness. You know before she killed herself.

Phoebe: You're questioning my methods.
Joey: I'm not questioning it, Phoebe, I'm saying it's stupid.

(Chandler is alarmed after he and Monica find themselves making out.)
Chandler: How drunk are you?
Monica: Drunk enough that I know I want to do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.
Chandler: That's the perfect amount!

Monica: Also, just so you know, I'm not making a turkey this year.
Joey: What?
Monica: Well, Phoebe doesn't eat turkey...
Joey: Phoebe!
Phoebe: Turkeys are beautiful, intelligent animals.
Joey: No, they're not. They're ugly and stupid and delicious.

Joey: The question Rachel is this, does he like you? Otherwise, it's just a moo point. You know, like a cow's opinion. It doesn't matter. It's moo.

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