Dogma Movie Quotes

Loki: Let it never be said that your anal-retentive attention to detail never yielded positive results!

Loki: No married man kisses his wife like that!

Loki: Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, next to soccer.

Loki: I can't kill her if she hasn't done anything! You know that.

Loki: He's been at it for a while now. We ran out of parishioners. And so he just started picking up folk off the road and dropping them.

Loki: Last four days on Earth. If I had a dick, I'd go get laid. We can do the next best thing, let's kill people

Bartleby: It's dogmatic law. If the church says it's so, God must adhere. This thing has a papal sanction.

Bartleby: All that matters is that after all these years, we found a loophole. He can't keep us out anymore. And once we're back in, I'm sure he'll just forgive and forget.

Bartleby: Mister McGhee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

Bartleby: The lesson must be taught. All are accountable, even God.

Bethany Sloane: It's been my experience that the average male is never a man, not even for ten minutes, in his entire lifespan.

Bethany Sloane: So if we're wrong, what's the right religion?

Bethany Sloane: Remind me to try that water to wine thing at my next party.

Metatron: Oh, Bartleby. Was Wisconsin really that bad?

Metatron: One of the drawbacks to being a martyr is that you have to die.

Metatron: The little stoner's got a point!

Metatron: Anyone that isn't dead or from another plane of existance would do well to cover their ears right about NOW.

Rufus: His only real beef with mankind is the shit that gets carried out in his name. Wars. Bigotry. Televangelism.

Rufus: Look! What I just did gave me a fucking migraine! Now shut up or I'll rip your sack off like a paper towel!

Azrael: No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater, than central air.

Azrael: I'm a fucking demon and you're gonna have him assault me with a putter?

Jay: I'm Jay, and this is my hetero lifemate silent Bob.

Jay: I guess we're in charge of the gang now.

Bethany: How did you know where to find us?
Rufus: You know what the dead do with most of their time? Watch the living. Especially in the shower.
Jay: I can't wait to die.

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