Bruce Almighty Movie Quotes

Bruce: All the greatest anchors have had their signature sign-off, like Walter Cronkite. And that's the way it was. That's the way the cookie crumbles. That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Bruce: Thank you, WKBW! Wimpy Kiddy Baby Whiners! That's what that stands! I'll see you on Channel 5, where they do the real news.

Bruce: Smite me, O mighty smiter!

Bruce: Okay, You win. I'm done. Please, I don't wanna do this anymore. I don't wanna be God! I want You to decide what's right for me! I surrender to your will!

Bruce: First off, let me just add another congratulations to Evan Backstabber... Pardon me, Bastard. Baxter, rather. It is good to see what someone with talent can do when great opportunities are given to them instead of me

Grace: Those are amazing! What are these?
Bruce: They're a new breed. Cross-pollination between tulips and daisies. I call them... todaisies.

Bruce: Look, would it help if I just said that I was a complete ass?
Day Care Kid: Hey, you said ass.
Bruce: Yeah, but it's okay if I'm talking about a donkey.

Ally: They want you close to the falls.
Bruce: Really? I'm gonna get soaked.
Ally: That's the point.

Grace: Will you stop being such a martyr?
Bruce: I am not being a martyr. I'm the victim. God is a mean kid over an anthill with a magnifying glass, and I'm the ant. He could fix my life in five minutes if he wanted to, but he'd rather burn off my feelers, and watch me squirm!

God: In a way, I'm here to offer you a job.
Bruce: Job? What job?
God: My job. When you leave this building, you will be endowed with all of my powers.
Bruce: Whatever you say, pal.

Jack: You don't want to be like Evan. Evan's an asshole.

Bruce: And that's the way the cookie crumbles!

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