Quotes from the Movie "Billy Madison"


Juanita: Ooh that boy's a fine piece of work all right. He's a fine piece of ass though, too.


Billy Madison: Sometimes I feel like an idiot. But I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.


Knibb High Principal: Any attempt to cheat, especially with my wife, who is a dirty, dirty, tramp, and I am just gonna snap.


Old Lady: If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.


Billy Madison: No I will not make out with you!


Lunch Lady: Have some more sloppy joes. I made em extra sloppy for yous. I know how you kids like em sloppy.
Billy Madison: Lady, you're scaring us.


Frank: Who would you rather bone, Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?
Billy Madison: Jack Nicholson now, or 1974?
Frank: 1974.
Billy Madison: Meg Ryan.


Billy Madison: Man, I'm glad I called that guy.


Billy Madison: Oh Veronica Vaughn! So hot! Want to touch the hiney!


Tenth Grader: Oh, gross... did you see that guys balls?
Tenth Grader: Yeah... they were weird looking.


Billy Madison: Chlorophyll? More like BOREophyll.


Frank: Hey, you wanna go feed that donkey some beer? Get it all messed up?


Billy Madison: I swear to God I'm sick. I can't go to school.
Juanita: If you're gonna stay home today, you can help me shave my armpits.
Billy Madison: Oh my God. I'll go to school.


Clown: Hey, kids, it's me. I bet you thought that I was dead. But when I fell over I just broke my leg and got a hemorrhage in my head. HA HA HA.


Billy Madison: Where's my snack pack?
Juanita: You got a banana, you don't need no snack pack.


Old Lady: I'll tell you who it was, it was that damned Sasquatch .


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