A Christmas Story Movie Quotes

Narrator Ralphie: Was there no end to this conspiracy of irrational prejudice against Red Ryder and his Peacemaker?

Narrator Ralphie: I left Flick to certain annihilation. But BB gun mania knows no loyalty.

Narrator Ralphie: Let's face it, most of us are scoffers. But moments before zero hour, it did not pay to take chances.

Narrator Ralphie: Now, I had heard that word at least ten times a day from my old man. He worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium; a master.

Narrator Ralphie: Some men are Baptists, others Catholics; my father was an Oldsmobile man.

Mr. Parker: You used up all the glue on purpose!

Mr. Parker: That son of a bitch would freeze up in the middle of summer on the equator!

Mrs. Parker: You'll shoot your eye out!

Mrs. Parker: That is the ugliest lamp I have ever seen in my entire life.

Schwartz: Hey, smart ass. I asked my old man about sticking your tongue to a flagpole in the winter, and he says that it'll freeze right to the pole, just like I told you.
Flick: Are you kidding? Stick my tongue to that stupid pole? That's dumb!
Schwartz: That's 'cause you know it'll stick!
Flick: You're full of it!
Schwartz: Oh yeah?
Flick: Yeah!
Schwartz: Well I double dog dare you!
Narrator Ralphie: Now it was serious. A double dog dare. What else was there but a triple dare? And then, the coup de grace of all dares, the sinister triple dog dare.
Schwartz: I triple dog dare ya!
Narrator Ralphie: Schwartz created a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the triple dare and going right for the throat!

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