Quotes from the Movie The 40 Year Old Virgin

Andy: Is it true that if you don't use it, you lose it?

Andy: Is this that movie about babies that are geniuses?

Andy: You know, when you, like, you grab a woman's breast and it's... and you feel it and... it feels like a bag of sand when you're touching it.

Andy: You know what? I respect women! I love women! I respect them so much I completely stay away from them!

Andy: I hope you have a big trunk, 'cause I'm puttin' my bike in it.

Jay: Why are you always telling me to go fuck a goat, man?

Jay: You're puttin' the pussy on a pedastal.

Driver: Get the fuck out of the road virgin!

Girlfriend's Kid: (after finding Andy on his girlfriend's bed with a dozen condoms open) Dude, teach me!

Cal: He's a really nice guy and all but I'm pretty sure that he is a serial murderer.

Cal: I hired a 90-lb girl to work in the stock room at Smart Tech for you, okay? I should've hired a 300-lb guy to lift the 60-inch flat screen, but instead I hired a hot girl who can't lift an iPod to bring you out of your funk.

Cal: I touched a guy's balls once at Hebrew School.

Cal: You've gotta wait till the seed grows into a plant. Then you fuck the plant.

David: (While watching the Bourne Identity) I always thought that Matt Damon was like a Streisand, but I think he's rockin' the shit in this one!

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